Return of the Pink Panther

Never a fan actually. Of the TV programme I mean. Wedged somewhere in the BBC's tea-time Bermuda Triangle of a schedule after Final Score but before the News it was vexing at best. Why was the kid in the opening credits in his pyjamas? And how come he was allowed to drive that car at his age IN his pyjamas? The animation was all 60s inspired Parisian backgrounds on a budget with that short-arsed police detective and his shout-y commissioner. And then they added Crazy Legged Crane to the mix! And the pink chocolate bars you could get of the same name were inedible, even to a 12 year old with a sugar craving as dangerous as a Raleigh chopper. I much prefered Banana Splits, or HR Puffandstuff or Fingerbobs. Happy days

Our Panther, well now you're talking. It won't come as too much of a surprise to hear that there was some toing-and-a-froing between stand-in Skip Angus and Panther concerning his potential availability (or not) for Saturday's return match against North Weald Basset (aka The Team With The Girl). You know the sort of thing by now: "Yes, I can play, opps no not sure, wife's 40th to organise, I'll let you know, if you're short just say, I have to iron my socks mind, might be late, etc, etc"

In the end he played and, batting at number 3, scored a maiden half-century (58) which was utterly brilliant and we were, as a team united in being absolutely delighted for him. Oh there was the odd play and miss, the hilarious dropped catch and (fabulous this) starting to walk off the pitch when he got his 50! (No Panther - you can't declare, back you go, there's a good chap...). For me it was the unbridled highlight of the season. A player who is popular with his team mates who lacks a bit of confidence at the crease had the time to face his demons and over come them on, it should be stressed, a seaming and unpredictable pitch against their best bowlers. Well played Panther. You really are in the pink. Okay, so we'll hear about it forever but so what, he deserves to tell his tale and we deserve to listen. Great effort. Just don't milk it (yeah - like I wouldn't).

And that was that really. They turned up (minus The Girl), won the toss, inserted on a drying pitch, and skittled us out for 118 in 36 overs. They knocked off the required runs in less than 20 overs with their strikingly original nick-named number 5 bat "Snakey" walloping us all over the place. And he was dropped on 6 as well..... Never mind. Well played them. I think as a team we were all suffering from end of season cant-be-arsed-ness. Or some suchlike. Wello done Charlie (BGB) for taking all 3 wickets we managed.

This was our chance to win 8 games in the season but alas, it was not to be. I was away in Monaco when the Eastons game was called off (have you seen the £ to Euro exchange rate recently? I have, upfront and personal. One euro doesn't go very far these days and is, frankly, disabled and unable to move in the Principality that is Monaco). Still, 7 wins equals last year so last year was no fluke, right? I know what I'm doing. And yes Ali - I don know how to set a field thank you. Cheeky sod.

Man of the Match: Panther
Mug of the Match: Nipples for not seeing the ball as it whizzed past him at chest height on the boundary (I have booked a session at SpecSavers - really I have)
Champagne Moment: Panther starting to walk off the pitch....

There will be one more blog entry after this one detailing the Sat XIs thrashing of the Sun XI next weekend in the end of season 20twenty thrash-a-thon. But as is customary I am taking the opportunity afforded me by the blog to announce the Skippers unofficial awards for 2008 a week beforehand.

Unofficial 'awards' from Captain Nipples:


Most improved player: Charlie Potter (Big Girl's Blouse)

Clubman of the year: Paul Lucas

Best Nickname: Captain Nipples

Best injury (on-field): Paul Lucas for nose job (against Weathersfield)

Best injury (off field): Ali Ross for head banging (against table in room)

Tourist of the year: Johnny Slowan (who STILL has not paid his share of the tour)

Joey Deaken catching award: Captain Nipples

Most Valuable Player: Jamie Halls

Most Interesting/Complex Personal Life: Captain Nipples

Most Improved Bat: Steve Oakey (Angus comes a close second)

Most Improved Bowling: Charlie Potter

Most Improved Fielding: Panther

Best tea: Paul & Lynda Lucas

Comedy moment: Nipples running away from catch v Southwold on tour

Best squabble: Hainault at home ("Frankly, that's despicable" Mike Emery)

Best match: Eastons away

Memorable moment: Panthers maiden 50












Next Saturday is the big one. It has been mooted in the past that some club members think it's not in the spirit of the club to have a Sat v Sun match as we are all one big happy family. Not me. I fancy our chances actually. Andy Silkstone? Getting past it if you ask me (and has dodgy ankle), Mike Silkstone? needs a haircut. Will Parker? can't play spin. Err, is there anyone else I can annoy or wind up? Probably. I am so up for it. Hepburn? no form you see. The chance of bowling spin to the Sunday side is soooo delicious. And then a curry and a drink up in the pavilion and then over to Panther's wife's 40th birthday bash at High Trees. He did invite us....

So now you've met the Pink Panther (Pink Panther)
And its as plain as your nose
That he's the one and only truly original
Panther pink from head to toes

See, even the song at the end of the programme is utter shite.

Committee meeting at 12.30 Sat. Then a 2.30 start for the final, final game of the season. It goes without saying I have started my pre-season training all ready.

Well done Panther.

Capt. Nipples