Girls Allowed?****

* Primark
** TK Max
*** Urban Outfitters
**** Top Shop
***** New Look

I seem to have spent an inordinate amount of time recently sharing intricate details of my private life with all and sundry at GCCC and not, I might add, at my bequest. So I'm imposing an immediate moratorium on the subject that is, Capt Nipples' Private Life. But as a parting shot, did you know I'm a dreadful insomniac? Of yes, my other non-bat & ball mates know this well. Famous for it. And over the years I have come up with numerous ways of drooping off in the wee small hours, including the shots I play in my imagination to bring me my maiden century. I usually fall asleep in the mid 30s (even in sleep life mocks me). Failing that, I spend my time re-editing the top 6 things that would go in my own personal Room 101.

Now plump up the cushions and make yourself comfy; I have loads of things that annoy me or that I hate or have a phobia of. Such as: New Years Eve, People Who Wear Trainers Without Laces in Them, Royal Mail Delivery Vans, Airports, Submarines, Hospitals, White Wine, The Middle Class - I could go on. These (and other things) jostle for positions 2,3,4,5. But number 1 is always the same. Always. Gentleman I give you - The Olympics.

It goes on too long, "Team GB" are hopeless under-achievers (and yes I include the current Olympics in that comment), and the sports? Why are some in (5 meter air rifle shooting anyone?) and some not (like cricket?). As AA Gill says the problem with The Olympiad (Olympiad?) is it's too much sport and not enough Games. I might like it more if it included gamey-type sports like Snooker, Darts, 10-Pin Bowling, Shove a'penny, etc. But it's so dull. And its doubled up with a men's race then a woman's race - why not do mixed racing and give the girls, I dunno, a 1/2 lap head start or something? Or handicap the male runners like in horse racing?

Which is a neat step into this week blog theme which is that political hot potato of Girls on a Cricket Field. Now don't all start up at once. I don't really mind (honest). It just LOOKS WRONG. Like female Black Cab Drivers or Old People eating Pizza there is something suss about it. And of course, it brings in the added embarrassment factor. Like getting bowled or caught by one. Being caught or bowled by a small boy is bad enough. But a girl? Can you imagine the grief?

North Weald (or North Weald Basset to give them their full name) had a girl in their team. A 13-year old called Laura. This was a master stroke by their skipper - guaranteed to get us panicking before the game even started. The Wealders are a really nice bunch actually and, having lost out to them last season at our place, I was keen for a win at their council rec ground. Y'know the type of ground- bumpy pitch, bumpy outfield, local chavs in football tops kicking a football about in the outfield. Sigh. I lost the toss and we were put in. The bounce was a tad uneven to say the least. It took Ali 32 overs and 6 hours to score 7 runs (or that's what it seemed like) but, with contributions from Steve Oakey (45), Bretty (30-odd) Andy D and - it has to be said - myself, we got to 173 which on that pitch was a bit of score. It was a timed game so they had to chase after tea and were never up with the rate, losing there 3 best batters cheaply and scoring at 2 an over. Paul got 3 wickets and a hat-trick chance and there were 2 wickets for Charlie ("oooh - I have a nosebleed"), Nipples and 1 each for Ali, Steve and Jamie. All out for 120-odd with 3 overs left.

Laura did okay and we did slow it down for her which is as it should be. Angus even gave here some advice at the crease. Good stuff. But we stuffed them basically - which was only the 2nd game they had lost all season or so they said. Go us. Win number 7, which equals last seasons total and we still have, what 4-5 games to go?

Man of the Match: Steve for his knock that helped us push on
Moan of the Match: BGB for getting a nosebleed (!)
Champagne Moment: Now then - it's me. I don't give myself much credit in the blog other than being the Comic Relief, but, that ball? The one that pitched way outside leg, spat, jumped and turned to whizz past off? Yes that one. The one the batsman said was a "miracle ball". That the CPM this week - so there.

Well done everyone. Next week we're at home to Sampfords (who we did the double over us last year) but they beat us at their place earlier in the season when we only had 9 players (two of which were youngsters). Another local derby where revenge is due. Win number 8? Let's do it.

When I think about it we do have a girl in our side already. I'm sure we do. From a distance I mean. Tall, flowing curly locks, wears a big girls blouse. Any clues as to who I mean....

Till next week.

Nipples