"No Show"

Let's give a big warm hand to Halstead Fenns who, at 8pm on Friday night, decided to phone me to call the game off because they couldn't get a team together for Saturday. That's after reassuring us on Wednesday that 'they would be fine'. New team as well and dead keen in March when they begged to play us. Tossers. Convention dictates that calling the game off with less than 24 hours before the match starts is terribly poor form. So I spend the next hour phoning and texting everyone the match is off. Most took it in their stride, expect the following player:

JP match off

Ali why?

JP they couldn't get a team

Ali why?

JP I don't know!!

Ali Sorry - I am a bit pissed

Ali "Preecher! Game's off then. They couldn't get a team? I'm a bit pissed"

etc


This got me thinking how impossible it is for me to play cricket. Yes very funny. But let us consider the following factors (or 'variables') that need to be in play and divide by the number of match we have:

1. Do we have a full side to put out (Y/N)
2. Do the opposition have a full side to put out (Y/N)
3. Will the opposition actually show up on the day (Y/N)
4. Will it be pissing down with rain (Y/N)
5. Will I get a bat (Y/N)
6. Will I bat passably well (Y/N)
7. Will I bowl passably well (Y/N)
8. Will we win (Y/N)

You see my point. Eight things have to happen in sequence for me to have a really good game. Eight! We only play 20-odd games a season. So I should play well two and a half times a season which.... is about right actually. I tell you, it's a burden being this smart all the time.

Anyway, I turned out and skippered the Sunday side instead and yes, I got a duck again and no wickets but at least we got a draw. I now have the worse batting and bowling average at the club. Go me!

This coming Saturday we are at home to the Mighty Stapleford Tawney complete with Andy Lee (Manager), Will Beagles (Skipper) and Dell (useful #3 bat - who Ali dropped off my bowling last year before he scored loads). They are my fav visiting team and we look forward to hosting them. It was a real cliff-hanger last year I seem to recall - even in the rain. Panther is doing tea so celebrations all round. 2pm at the Park. Angus - I want you to open.

I'll phone and and get the team ready in the next day or so.

FYI There will be a committee meeting next Tuesday, 13th May at 8pm at The Hall's Pavilion.

Good week all,

Cheers

Preecher