"Flat"

The title of my blog - "The Difficult Second Season" - might turn out to be more prophetic than I intended. On Saturday, in glorious and unseasonal Spring sunshine, GCCC Sat XI visited Dunmow to play our first match of the season. And we lost by 80-odd runs. The pitch was flat, and so were we, as was my bowling. Flat, flat, flat. As a pancake. Or my stomach. ho-ho.

The afternoon started brightly enough. I gathered the team for an inspirational team talk in the away dressing room. I thought some kick ass beats would be a good idea - "let's play some music to get us going" - except we didn't have any. Angus played The Kaiser Chiefs on his mobile phone. It wasn't the ambiance we were after. It took him a minute to turn the damn thing off. I mumbled something about 'competing' and 'remembering to enjoy it' and 'results will come' and 'other cliche's'. It wasn't Duke of Wellington circa 1815 and the battlefields of Belgium that's for sure.

The pitch had a bit of green about it and was damp. To bat or bowl? That decision was made for me by their skipper who won the toss and, in 0.00078 seconds, decided to bat. They made 225 or thereabouts for 2 wickets. Just the 2 then... And funny thing is we bowled okay; Jamie and Ali opened and kept it tight. A few half chances here, a dropped catch there. They were 85 at drinks. That was only just par. But we never really looked like getting a wicket. And the longer it went on, the quieter we all got. JW finally got their (14-year old!) opener out, caught by Trev at gully for 44. Dom, their other opener made 85 before retiring. Oh yes, and before this the Dunmow skipper had wandered on to the pitch to remark "That if I wanted any of their batters to retire, just to ask, old chap, okay?" Grrr...

Rob Halls bowled well and got the other wicket. JW and Paul did okay considering the pitch and that it was the first game of the season and all that. I bowled 'alright' with a lower case 'a'. No wickets, bit flat, 3 half chances and , er that's it. Time for tea.

We started our innings well too. Mike and Ali were up with their rate after 15 overs or so till, Mike got his bat caught in his pads (oops) and was out. Andy D went in and walloped it but was out lbw without really getting going, although he had smashed his finger taking a catch earlier and played on through the pain. Still well placed though after 20 overs. Or so I thought....

The roll of shame:

Trevor: made a couple I think, then clean bowled
Panther: out first ball leaving one..... that hit middle stump (idiot boy!)
Preacher: got a duck (having to face a hat-trick ball) and got one that nipped away a few balls later. Good ball, chaps honest...
Angus: out first ball (hit the bails off with his own bat (idiot boy!)
JW: a duck as well I think

Shall I go on? Their Sri Lanken bowler was mustard. Nipping it in, then away and against the slop. Too good for us. But of course we knew that. Thanks Dunmow.

Jamie was still at the crease with Paul but when J went we knew the end was nigh. We had 28 balls to go to earn a losing draw but, then with Paul clean bowled it was all over.

There was some good news. Rob Hall's bowled very well. And Chelsea beat Man U 2-1. But the promises I made to myself at the start of the season of 1) no ducks and 2) get at least one wicket a game got busted in April. Twas ever thus.

Dunmow were very sweet and laid on a nice tea and they had the telly on so we could watch the footie results come in. I knew it would be tough but, for 3/4 of the game we were in with a shout. The difference was their one bowler who took, what 6-7 wickets? We should not be too down-hearted. And I think we'd all agree the season starts properly next Saturday when we play at home. Now, I have spoken to Clint and there is definitely a game this Sat, 2pm start at the park. I just can't remember who. A new team I think. Let's see what happens. I will bring some sounds.

And as skipper I want to hear lot more banter in the field and for us all to support our bowlers. Now do come along. Or I shall get shirty and simply insist on playing my new album by The Fall before we play. And that will upset us.

Man of Match: Rob Hall (well done Rob)
Mug of the Match: Angus (for mobile phone incompetence and knocking over his own stumps)

Well, we have the tough game of the season over and done with. Now to put our game faces on. We've waited 7 months for this.... let's enjoy it.

Happy days are here again!

Have a good week everyone.


Preacher

"Nets"

JP: You okay for Saturday, chap?

Clint: I can play, yeah. It's Gabriel's birthday party but the missus says I can play if I want..

JP: Sarah said that?

Clint: Yeah

JP: Those were her exact words - if you want?

Clint: Yeah

JP: Let me enlighten you. 'If you want' means absolutely no chance

Clint: She said I could play...

JP: Call me on Monday and let me know


Welcome to the start of a new season. As you can see, very little has changed. Our 2nd net of the season last Sunday at The Park was reasonably well attended and the sun rose on a new dawn at GCCC. And everyone did okay with bat and ball. Panther's an interesting one; Arthur Conan Doyle (he of Sherlock Holmes fame) argued once that the brain's capacity was finite. With any new knowledge gained, the brain must lose an equal and equivalent amount of knowledge to make room. So we when we saw him batting passably well in the net we knew his bowling would desert him. And it did. Well done mate for bowling the ball IN the net occasionally. Ho-ho.

Paul STILL doesn't move his feet at the crease and JW looks surprised every time he hits the thing. Andy looked the class bat he is. Jamie was ring-rusty. I of course, was spectacular. In my imagination that is. Mitch (who is 17 by the way) bowled quick and smacked a few (mostly off me). I bowled too short. Clint was our bowling pick and insisted on wearing his rugby shirt to nets (with a no. 18 on it - his batting average - har). Welcome to Pete the Kiwi vet who will be one of new players this season. Trevor also came up wearing his Sunday best walking the dog.... we are SO professional.

So it's Dunmow AWAY this Saturday for our first game of the season. Match is at 2pm. Be there at 1.45pm. Here's the team and likely batting line up (I have put amusing nick names in brackets)

Mike Emery (Super Mike)
Ali Ross (Super Ali)
Andy Davies (Super Andy)
Trevor Beeston (Super Trev)
Jamie Halls (Super Jamie)
Panther (Panther)
JP (Preacher)
Angus Rayner (Super Gus)
John Williams (JW)
Paul Lucas (Super Luke-y)
Robert Halls (Super Rob)

No Clint you notice. Funny that.

Due to popular demand I bring you the welcome return of Captain Blog's Absentee Rating system for players who couldn't make it. We have a 5 ***** rating system thus:


***** Choosing curtains with the missus/buying shoes/etc
**** Having to work at the weekend
*** A small niggle/injury/cough/etc
** Family engagement
* Hungover

Bomber haa his kids christening and its a a big family deal so fairy nuff. Steve Oakey has his bro down ('been arranged ages Jon', etc) for that a **. Mitch is playing for his school and is so excused. Bretty has kanckered his shoulder and has a sick note until further notice. Which leaves Clint - a definite ***** for even thinking he could play.

Dunmow will be up for it. Keen as mustard. It's a pre-season friendly for them and they will put out their 2nd XI. I do so hate them. Well not really. But like your bigger older brother who puts his outstretched hand on you forehead whilst you are trying to punch him, Dunmow 'like to take it easy on us'. Okay so they're the better team. And it's at their ground. And their players have much better nick names than us - like 'Spider' and 'Muscrat' and 'Bingo' or whatever. But I think we can get a draw. Good track you see.... win the toss, we bat first, post 250-265 and let them chase. Their ego will get the better of them and our slow bowlers (which is all of our attack obviously) will frustrate them into hitting out. Should be all over in time for Doctor Who.

Ali - please keep off the quality wines on Friday.

See you all Saturday. Here we go again. I love this job..........



Preacher