Wet Wet Wet

Realistically there was no way we were going to see any cricket on Saturday despite hopeful and regular glances to the west in a vein attempt to wish away the low, leaden cloud; it just got greyer. Then the rain started at 10.00am, slowly at first and then more consistent. I checked with Bretty and Jamie and suggested we give it 'till midday. By 11.15 I called PoB to tell him it was off and to put back the cricket tea perishables in his Waitrose trolley. Disappointing.

I thought about the need for some kind of perspective. Reasons to be cheerful: 1,2,3....

1. We have at least already played Dunmow at home. This fixture is in many ways a re-run mid season of our first game. And that was a great day with the sun shining (in April!) and we don't want anything detracting from that - like losing in the rain. We also played Dunmow in the 20:20 last Friday so we have seen plenty of our cricketing neighbours recently, thank you.

2. We could all be under 3 foot of water like those poor souls on the news. Perhaps west Essex is getting off comparatively lightly.

3. There's always tomorrow. On Sunday we have scheduled a Chairmans v Presidents match to honour the formal opening of the new pavilion. Better the Saturday game is cancelled than this one-off special between Stuart Hepburn's team and Pommy's select 11. I write this blog entry at 7.30am on Sunday and the skies are definitely brighter and blue-er with no rain. It is damp, but, perhaps if no more rain falls, we can play some cricket this afternoon.

Next Saturday we are away to Sampfords. It's down as a 2.30pm start but try and get there before 2pm. If, like me, you dont know how to get there I'll send over some directions. Ali - if your reading this on holiday, you're in. Same for Bomber, Clint and Mike. Sampfords, eh? Curiously I've never played them - always been working or on hols. But am I correct in recalling that we got thumped last season at their place? Not this time. I fancy us for our first away win in years, and a comfortable win at that.

Okay boys, you've had a rest this weekend so your mind and body should be fresh for this big game next Saturday. And missing a game will make us all that little bit more hungry. Sampfords had better watch out.

See you all next week, weather permitting.

Preecherman.

A Bridge Too Far

Accidents will happen whenever Abridge pay us a visit. Last year one of their number was hit smack on the nut by his own fielder returning the ball to the bowlers end. Cue ice, recovery position and his Dad whisking him away to Harlow General A&E where a 3 1/2 hour wait followed. A broken cheek bone was the diagnosis.

Edward bowled a slower delivery on Saturday. The batsman hoiked it towards the mid wicket boundary where JW and Bomber were lurking. At this stage is 70:30 JW's ball. Bomber is moving quickly from square-ish leg. 60:40. MINE! yells Bomber. JW continue to follow the ball. 50:50. The rest writes itself. True to Newton's 2nd law about force = mass x velocity JW is polaxed. Bomber is also on the ground. So is the ball, nestled between them. Great Canfield meets the Keystone Cops. Okay its not that funny but it did kind of sum up a comedy of errors sort of day. For those with a weak constitution look away now.

It was tough getting a team due to injury (Mike is on painkillers due to knackering his neck and shoulder last Sunday, Andy Goodwin has a badly cut hand) illness (Andy Davis got a virus or food poisoning ruling him out of this game and the 20:20 played on Friday against Dunmow - which we lost), holidays (Ali on some kind of gastro-sailing holiday to Amsterdam, Steve had taken the kids to Thorpe Park) and work (Bretty, Brucie, et al). So we were done to 9 and that included Ed, his mate Nick Coupe and young Tom Pierson making his debut. Angus got Andy and Tim to guest at short notice so we had 11 but it was not our strongest line-up, esp in the batting/bowling/fielding depts. Abridge had their A Team out. Joy.

I won the toss and put them in on the basis that everyone making the effort to turn out for Canfield would at least get a bat. They made 302 for 4 in 39 overs and smacked us all over the park. Tim bowled very well without any luck and well done to young Nick Coupe for his 2-33 off 4 overs. I got the other two wickets, including their larger-than-life skipper John first ball with probably my best delivery of the season. We needed something to save us. There was no way our batting line up would survive 20 overs let alone 40.

Thank the lord for the rain. Just before tea it started (Canfield had missed all the rain in the morning) so we came off an over early. Then the heavens opened. For over an hour - the wicket was actually flooded at one stage and Paul took some snaps for prosperity. It thundered, it lightening-ed, it hailed. Match abandoned. Bad luck Abridge. We still have out unbeaten record at home.

Canfield Man of the Match: Angus - for great 'keeping all day. Our bowlers (me included) ought to be very grateful considering the amount of legside rubbish he has to deal with at the moment.

Champagne Moment: My delivery to snare John their Captain first ball.

Keystone Cops Moment: JW and Bomber's bumps-a-daisy

Pre-Match Quote: Angus "It'll be sunny like this ALL AFTERNOON....."

Thanks to Ruth for standing in at the 12th hour to do tea when no-one else could. I think it is PoB's turn next Saturday (home vs Dunmow, 2pm for a 2.30 start) can someone tell Patrick please? Thanks also for Tim and Andy for helping us out and such short notice and sorry you never got a bat boys. Well done Tom P who bowled his 2 overs at the end very well (and returned better figures than Bomber!).

A note to all bowlers. There are 3 stumps. The space to the left (if bowling to a right hander) is outside off. That's were we should all try and aim. The bit on the right is 'down leg side'. Avoid bowling there when we have a short legside boundary to defend. And lets all try to pitch it up? Needless to say this advice applies to me as much as anyone. But come along now, enough is enough.

'till Saturday.

Preecherman

A Grand Day Oot

This week's Captain's Blog is penned by guest blogster 'Yorkshire Dave', Captain of Rayleigh who were Canfield's visitors on Saturday. Preecherman is otherwise engaged rearranging his sock draw.

Eh up Canfield, Dave here. 'Twas smashing seeing all you folks again on Saturday. Eeeh it were a right grand day oot. (I don't think I'm going to be able keep this 3rd person Yorkshire narrative up for the whole blog but bear with it). Captain's Blog's post bag has been near brimming with letters this week in response to Preeherman's Chin Up Lyndsell posting. Here's a selection:

Dear Sirs

It has come to my attention that your so-called Captain's Blog of last week crossed that 'invisible line' between good natured banter and serious provocation. For the record my facical complexion is not beetroot or blackcurrant but a healthy dark teak honed from hours rolling the square. I will exact my revenge on the pitch when I guest for Dunmow against Canfield in Friday's 20:20 game. Any repeat of your outrageous comments and I will be forced to play the whole game in a balaclava.

Yours

Mr S. Niper, Lyndsell

O0h dearire, dearie me. Whatever has Preecherman been doing? I have to say that as visiting Captain I can vouch for Canfield's skipper as nothing if not polite and respectful... even for a shandy drinking soft southerner. Here's another letter

Dear Sirs

We have heard a lot about this thing called Captain's Blog. May we ask what a blog actually is, please?

Yours

Lyndsell CC

Certainly. In Yorkshire a blog is a rarely used cricketing term with two meanings 1) a shot to mid-wicket which is half block and half slog - blog. 2) a word used to describe a tall, bearded leg spinner who moans all the time (ooh - look at the bowler shouting at his own fielders, what a complete blog he is). I hope that helps you all, Lyndsell. Keep your chin up lads, eh?

Anyroad up, we at Rayleigh had a first class game against Canfield on Saturday. Your skip won a good toss and put you in. Despite bowling the first 10 overs tightly, we were down a couple of our usual openers and as our young attack tired, Ali (the funny one with the blue hat who serves behind the bar) and Andy smashed the ball all over t'ground. I'll tell thee somit, we thought they'd never stop scoring. In the end Ali reached his all time high score of 91 - a grand effort mate, well played lad - eventually being undone by our 12 year-old leggie (Dave - that is not going to make Ali feel any better). Andy hit a quick-fire 78 and with Steve Oakey chipping in with 20 and Bomber (eeh such a nice lad Bomber) 32 you lot notched up 276 in 40 overs in showers and sunshine. Well done Canfield. Bad luck to your guest bat Jeff who was out first ball - I guess Aussie grade cricket is not what it used to be! Head up son.

Post tea we showed true Yorkshire grit but were never really in with t'shout. I got a Boycott-esq 85 but the rest came and went. The wickets were shared between your bowlers with Ali, Charlie, Preecher, Steve, Will and young Ben Sully all contributing. In the end we held our nerve and with 200-odd for 8, you couldn't quite get us all out. What a super smashing game of cricket lads. We look forward to playing you again next season.

Right, black ones for work in one draw, sport socks (white) in another, leisure wear/casual next to the sport socks and all novelty socks (e.g. Christmas, Valentines Day, etc) nicely hidden away. Thanks to Dave for guesting this week and well done to his young team of first class cricketers who bowled well early doors and batted with considerable flair. Despite being a last minute conference pick last year I think they did more than enough to become a regular fixture. Dave told me Canfiled was the highlight of their season for the ground's splendor and for the welcome they get. That's nice to hear.

Man of the Match: Al - highest score ever and sooo close to that elusive 1st century. Top man

Champagne Moment: Me - for winning the toss !! (well, it was a good one to win...)

Thanks to Andy for tea and to Bretty and Jamie for ensuring the ground was playable and in top condition considering the weather.

It's a home match again next week vs Abridge. Hopefully we'll get a bit more sun than this weekend. But before then we have the 20:20 on Friday to deal with. I wonder if Sniper will remember me. Shall we play win-lose-draw?

Oh - I'm so naughty. Mind you, my old Maths teacher used to say I had a tendency to be 'difficult in the face of authority'. She should know, she's in Holloway Prison now doing life for a triple murder (seriously).

Go Go PowerRangers.

Right, pants drawer next...

Preeherman

Chin Up, Lyndsell!!!

Welcome to Blog Time.

Your starter for 10; who remembers Gary Stanley? Anyone? Answer: one of Chelsea's 2nd division underachievers from the '70s. A hard working attacking midfielder with Keegan perm and chippy attitude to match. Gary works in the 'financial services' now but was spotted by a group of my mates at the Cup Final giving it large to the Man U fans. There is something both reassuring and unedifying about seeing an ex-pro behave like a fan's fan. At the final whistle when Chelsea had won 1-0 after extra time, there was our Gaz suited and booted goading the opposing fans thus: head up, nose in the air, flapping his hand under is chin yelling "Chin up, Mancs, chin up!" - a reference to the Red Devils failing to capture the double. "Chin Up" is the current provocative zeitgeist...

I thought about Gary on Saturday, when, with 15 overs of our innings left and millions of runs behind, the incomparable and beetroot-faced Sniper reminded me it was a win or lose match. Not so I said. Yes so, he insisted. Enter James their captain from deepish mid on. I then recounted what I had agreed with James about this being a win-lose-draw format and that, if the team chasing is not all out, it's a draw my old son. James looked sheepish and nodded his agreement. "My mistake, sorry chaps, should have checked". Sniper asked what format should we play then? Err, how about the one we started the match with Sniper, my old blackcurrant-headed friend? They WERE NOT PLEASED.

Chin Up, Lyndsell.

Their spin bowler mumbled something about bowling us all out and winning that way. Except of course, they couldn't get the final wicket.

Chin Up, Lyndsell.

Honestly, talk about a Captain not knowing what he was doing. They won the toss and, just like all those game before, they smacked the ball through the V passed the short downhill boundary time and again. In fact, I have it on good authority (I have my ex-wife to thank for this intel' - having come to watch Ed play) that they even had the audacity to go and look up the record books because they were convinced they would get their highest ever score. It never happened.

Chin Up, Lyndsell.

They got 303 - big deal. Ali got 3 wickets and I got a couple bowling a whole load better than in the past couple of games and I snared Sniper for the 2nd year in a row (Sniper is my bunny, Sniper is my bunny, la la la la). Paul was unlucky to remain wicket-less after a good and accurate spell and Ed bowled his 4 overs well and was also unlucky to see two difficult chances fail to go to hand. Well done us for all sticking with it and for a much better performance after drinks.

After we had had tea at Mrs Miggins tea shop/house it was our turn to reply. We started well scoring at 5+ an over till Bretty was run out via a direct hit by their Essex U13 wunderkid Jack Sneath (Sniper Jnr). Then Clint making his much awaited season's debut was out first ball. Ooops. Bomber made a gallant 40-odd but with 5 overs to go it was Ed's time to bat. He went out a boy and came back a hero, just like Harry last week. Ed scored two cracking boundaries and made 12 not out and, with PoB coming in as 11th man with 10 balls left they both saw us home for a fantastic draw. That's a DRAW, Lyndsell.

Chin Up, Lyndsell.

Credit to James their captain for coming over, shaking my hand, apologising for the confusion and saying well done to holding on. No credit at all to the rest of the Lyndsell team who couldn't bring themselves to clap off our last two players. Some of them might be mates/distant relations of Angus and Clint but I don't care. I now know why their one of our thee main rivals. They must have felt gutted. Ha bloody ha.

So a draw away at Lyndsell! Won't be saying that too often in the future. Still, only one defeat for the Sat XI and its mid June. As Captain, this was the game I enjoyed the most. I'm getting the hang of it.

Man of the Match: Ed - for batting under pressure, overcoming his nerves, and seeing us home

Moan of the match: Sniper 'but its MY ground!!!'

Mug of the match: James their Skip (sorry mate)

Exchange of the match: "They call me Sniper" said Sniper, as he showed off his impressive wicket. The call me The Preecherman, I said..

Sandwich of the match: The eggy ones at tea - yum

Next Sat we are at home to Rainham (or such-like) - 2pm start. We will start the game by singing the Canfield Anthem below:

(to the tune of This is England, by The Clash)

We are Canfield

With our leathery balls

We are Canfield

Home to Jamie and the rest of the Halls

We have our own blog

We have a new pavilion

We have a new site screen, clock and weather vein

We blew Lyndsell into oblivion

Bretty on his mower

Ali behind the bar

Lyndsell have a nice square

And a dog trained to fetch balls lost a-far

Strength, honour, fair play and fun

Go go Canfield

Our race is all but run

copyright J Priest.

Until next time.

Keep your willow dry.

Preecherman

Prince Harry Deflects Eton Rifles Fire

A confessional blog this week I fancy. I've enjoyed a small number of highs playing for Canfield in the past couple of years: my 6-for against Lyndsell last year for instance, the 5-for against Bairds, reaching a high score of 29. Of yes, I've touched the stars in a cricketing sense more than once. I've also come off the pitch feeling wretched. Saturday was another of the bad times you just have to take with the good. Such is life. It won't be the last time.

We were right to forecast a tough match against Flitch Pilgrims, a wandering side with a core of players made up of ex-Felstead public school boys. And, just like The Jam's 'Eton Rifles' they dished out a damn good thrashing to the commoner upstarts of Canfield. Well almost. They were, it must be stressed, damn nice 'chaps' who played the game in a great spirit once they realised their state educated opponents were in a different (i.e lower) league.

Firstly, it would have been a good toss to win. But Yogi, their captain, elected to bat and they made 278 with strength all the way through their line up. As Captain, let the record show I had a bit of a shocker. Apart from running Paul out when dashing a needless single, turning my right ankle chasing a straight drive and performing a 5.7 prat-fall in the rough at the far end of the ground and bruising my left index finger stopping a single, I also contributed to 77 of their runs whilst neglecting to bring Brucie back on to finish his spell. I suspect Brucie's mood that came my way after the game had a lot to do with that. A Captain mistakes such as these are mine to make as I travel the trainee Captain's odyssey. I will learn. Right, that's enough of the hirsute confessional.

There were some notable Canfield highlights; not least a FANTASTIC never-to-be-seen-again diving catch at extra over by Andy 'velcro' Davis to remove their big hitting South African. We were all absolutely gobsmacked. Good on yer mate. Unbelievable.

But this was Harry's Game. Rayner jnr bowled his 5 over spell very well, showing the Captain on more than one occasion how to loop the ball up properly, taking a key wicket in the process. Harry also batted with maturity well above his years as Canfield fought to save the game, occupying the crease and following the Captain's defensive plan to the letter. We were all mightily impressed and it will do Harry's confidence the world of good. This, and for keeping focused and alert in the field all day, makes him Canfield Man of the Match. Well done - arise Prince Harry.

So we earned a draw. We didn't have much choice with Mike getting out early on ("bad luck Mike" I said. "No, it was rubbish, Jon"). It was that kind of day. Ali got his usual 40-something and Andy Davis a rapid-fire 38. But when Bretty fell to his 2nd ball after Ali had been bowled by a neat in-swinger our only option was to defend for the remaining 15 overs. Feeling responsible for the plight we were in I felt it was the Captain's job to help try and get us home. So after 19 overs I had scored the princely sum of 9 runs. Sorry, make that 6 runs - that's the score recorded in the score book.... and I played on aswell, and Ali dropped a catch of my bowling. And, and, and, boo-ho...it was just one of those days, okay?

But Canfield did sneak home to earn a draw and that's what it was all about. Our Eton Rifle Rivals were very generous opponents and could have moved up a gear or two if truth be told. That said, they couldn't bowl us out (ha-ha) and the game was saved as was our 100% unbeaten home record. So lets not get too down hearted.

Champagne Moment: Andy Davis's catch-of-all-catches

Man-on-the-Match: Prince Harry

It was a hot day and w'ed have loved to have batted first, but that said our fielding was below par (Andy Davis's apart) but well done everyone for keeping at it. Thanks to Paul and Lynda for a yummy 1st class tea - along with Andy's catch the highlight of my day.

Next week is another toughy. Away to Lyndsell where the meanies play 'win or lose' and have a strategy of preparing a hard, true wicket to suit their top order batsman who pile on the runs, so putting the pressure on the visitors. We know how it works. We came damn close to humbling them last season with Bretty only 13 shy of a century. We will be without both Andy and Mike for that game, although Bomber should be returning. As ever, Canfield will give it our best shot.

2pm at Lyndsell next week everyone. I'll leave my hair-shirt at home.

Keep the faith,

Preecherman