12th Man "Sailor Jerry" Ends Unbeaten Record

Captains Blog supplemental. We have been orbiting a very strange planet somewhere in deepest space (aka east Herts) desperately looking for signs of civilization (aka a cricket ground). We have visited this barren landscape many times before and got lost in the process. Today is no exception. My pilot Angus is not helping ("I recognise these lanes - definitely"), nor is the last known grid reference point, I mean you'd expect Nazeing Common to play either at Nazeing (possibly on a common?) or, outlandishly, actually at Nazeing Common. But no, Nazeing Common CC play at Bradley Common, don't you see?

I wonder if Andy Davis will get lost like he did last year...

When we do eventually come across the club my mood is not lifted by the ground. It's as I remember - desolate. Stuck slap bang in the centre of a farmer's field with the wind whistling around possibly the biggest boundary in village cricket. It also has its very own micro climate that reminds me of a knackered central heating thermostat - either eye watering hot or freezing. Today its grey, overcast and cold with drizzle forecast for tea-time. Just like last year in fact.

I'm still a little delicate due to last night's Pavilion drinkies, not to mention this mornings hangover-busting fried breakfast. Never learn, do you? Middle age. You can keep it, chap. I rummage in my unnecessarily large club-size bag for some Nurofen, put my game face on and seek out Graham their Captain.

Canfield win the toss and we have a bat. The pitch is hard - well harder than ours last week and the ball just might "come on" as they say. Andy Davis calls to say he has got lost and is running late, which brings me on to... the return of the much loved absentee report. Excuse ratings as follows: *****fair play to you, ****okay but don't make a habit out of it, ***sounds like a lame excuse to me, **you're doing what?, *shopping for shoes with the missus

• Bomber: on family holiday *****
• Panther: on family holiday (with Will Beagles) ****
• Brucie: working all weekend **

Team news and batting line up:

• Mike
• Bretty
• Andy Davis (scored century on this ground last year)
• Ali
• Steve
• PoB (helped Andy score century on this ground last year... by booting the ball away)
• Sonofapreecherman
• Preecher (yes, I know it's spelt ea not ee)
• JW
• Paul 'Economy Class' Lucas
• Angus

Right, let's talk cricket. This fixture has a lot to live up to. Last year we were 0-2 after 2 balls with their opener on a hat-trick. Then Andy Davis arrived, scored a ton off the last ball of the innings and we posted 200+. We couldn't quite bowl them out and they hung on to their final wicket for 6 overs to earn a draw. That was the closest we came to winning last season. All change now though, what with our undefeated record and the memory of last year's game fresh in the mind. Could this be our first away victory in years?

The short and correct answer is no. We posted 175 in difficult "ball not coming on at all, Skip" conditions against some accurate bowling. Mike got 69 and Ali 43 but we never really got going in the dank conditions with a large boundary on the south side of the ground and a fairly unresponsive pitch. Still, having seen basically the same Nazeing team bat last weekend I felt 170-odd was not far off par. And with the light drizzle starting and the light fading batting conditions will be harder for the team chasing.

We couldn't pull it off and in truth never looked like doing so. Sonofapreecherman managed 3 overs before retiring with a recurring foot problem. Steve got the break-through wicket sup rising their opener with a quicker off-cutter. I replaced Ed at the far end and proceeded to bowl like Stephen Hawking without arms. If there was a bowling stat for accurately drifting down leg I'd win hands-down. Downing 8 Sailor Jerry rums at the end of Friday evening clearly has its drawbacks. Sailor Jerry is dropped for the rest of the season. None for 35 off 7 overs. Good grief. Ali was for the 2nd match running our pick of the bowlers with 3 for 29 closely pursued by JW who took 3 wickets in consecutive matches. But they continued to score at 4 an over and with the heavy drizzle turning the ball into a red leathery soapy lump the catches went down (I dropped another skier at mid on). It wasn't to be - well done to the young colts of Nazeing for hanging in there. They deserved it. And thanks to Nazeing for a first class tea.

Man of the match: Ali for his 40-odd and 3 wickets and for keeping us in the game

Champagne moment: This is split between PoB's great catch at deep extra cover and Angus's diving catch off Ali. Great catches in tough conditions fellas

Sailor Jerry moment: My dropped catch off Ali at mid on

But well done everyone for sticking at it for 38 overs. We are competing well this season and enjoying the experience more than ever. As Captain, that's my objective and responsibility. Next week we're at home to Flitch Pilgrims, a very good wandering side of ex-Felstead boys. We'll have to put our game faces on for that one but remember, we are still unbeaten at home, right?

I rounded off the evening with dodgy chinese which was a fitting end to a gut-wrenching day all round. Cricket? Marvellous isn't it? Well sometimes.

Keep the faith everyone and remember, its a 2pm start at home next Saturday. Needless to say I can't wait!

See you next week

Preecherman