Meet the Sat XI Players

The following represents the core of the Sat XI team pool, although inevitably occasional players, friends, relatives and even members of the Sunday team get roped in as the season plods on to its inevitable conclusion:

Ali is our GCCC stalwart who, quite literally, bats for both sides (the Sat and Sun XI that is) as well as opening the bowling, so a bit of an all rounder cricketing nut. Early 40s, lives near Harlow with Margaret, he earns his keep in IT but lives for fine food and cricket. Insists on only wearing clothes from charity shops and has a fervent disdain of modern consumer capitalism. Anyway, he's a good mate and will be an able lieutenant in the months ahead. Has played for Canfield for years and is a damn fine player. Batting **** Bowling **** Fielding ***** Fashion *

Bomber is the Sat XI outgoing Captain, having held the post for 3 years, Like Ali, he could play at a much higher level if he so chose, but remains loyal to the cause. Fabulous RH bat and a quite superb fielder at mid off. 30s, married to Jo, a family of 4 small children, and currently going through a career change into the financial services. No wonder he wanted a break from captaincy. Called Bomber because 'he bombs about' a lot... Exhibits what the Services might call "Officer Potential", having the relaxed, confident easy manner of the well educated. Surprisingly quiet off the pitch but a natural sportsman on it. Batting ***** Bowling ** Fielding ***** Wine *****

Preecherman. The new Captain; and at 44 and in only his 2nd full season as a player, something of a rookie (the oldest rookie in the world?). A stalwart who practises a lot, but still a bit of a rabbit with the bat. Secretly thinks the cricket ball is far harder than is sensible. Lives with Ruth in Canfield and runs own business (a natural leader then? Err, no). Big on team spirit and encouraging banter in the field (which this season will be at mid on - where the ball rarely goes). A leg spinner of some small repute. Batting * Bowling **** Fielding (ouch) Fancy Motor *****

Sonofapreecherman. The Captain's 13 year old son Ed and already miles better than his Dad. RH bat, LH bowler. Also plays for Dunmow (boo), Thaxted and School and trains at the Essex Academy. Tends to give Dad jip in the field. Appearances this year are injury permitting as he suffers badly with a foot ailment. The boy can play. Batting *** Bowling *** Fielding *** Red Bull (when Dad's detracted at the pavilion bar) *****

Bretty. RH bat and very handy as an occasional opener. Where he bats in the order usually depends on if he has been working nights or if he has been on the sauce. Doesn't bowl and fields MILES AWAY sweeping the boundary smoking tabs. Does loads for the club behind the scenes as well as cuts the outfield twice a week and never moans (much). Lives in nearby Takeley, 50s, handy with agricultural machinery. Top man. Batting ***** Lawn Mowers ****

Clint. As in Clint Eastwood (he looks nothing like!) Possibly the nicest man in the world. Local Canfield Farmer, early 40s and married to Bomber's sister, Sarah (life in the sticks, huh?) with three small children. A GCCC player man and boy, like Rob his dad before him. Handy with bat, ball and fielding. I wish he could play more for us, but the harvest won't do itself, boy. Batting *** Bowling *** Fielding *** Tractors *****

Andy Davis. Quality RH bat and quite honestly the best fielder I have ever seen. An Aussie who also lived in S Africa, so a bit of a cricketing pedigree. Married, lives near Ali with a young son. Only player to score a century last year. You could not meet a nicer bloke, which for an Aussie is praise indeed. Oh, and any bowlers reading this, anything short and he'll hit you to the mid wicket boundary in a second. Brought up on fast wickets you see. Batting ***** Fielding ***** Nice Ausie Score *****

Angus. Our 'keeper. Local builder/handyman residing with Tracy and sons Harry and Sam in Little Canfield. Another who does loads for the club and someone who always thinks ahead (like buying a widescreen TV for the pavilion on Cup Final day last year). He got it cheap, supposedly. I have never seen him without a smile on his face. As strong as an Ox and a great team player, our Mr Fixit and a Level 1 coach as well I believe. Batting ** Keeping **** General Maintenance *****

Paul Lucas. Manc living in Stebbing (not Stabbing), 40s, aviation graduate who has progressed from rockets to, er, procurement. Supports Man City and has a passion for classic sports cars. Bit nervous with the bat but a very good (and accurate) wicket-to-wicket 2nd change bowler. Very much a regular and one of the first names on the teamsheet. A bright boy - so he gets lumbered as our scorer most of the time. Batting ** Bowling *** Fielding *** Rocket Science *****

JW. Lives an hour away in SE London but a regular Canfield player for many years now, and his game has come on enormously and now pretty capable with bat, although like Paul his main strength is being our other regular 2nd change nagging length bowler. Late 40s, an accountant and also GCCC's Financial Officer. Supports Charlton and possesses an arid wit and quite excellent comedy timing (and that's not just his forward defensive - ho ho). Batting *** Bowling **** Fielding *** P&L/Balance Sheets *****

POB. Patrick O'Brien, early 60s and could be nicknaed The Judge because, he is, A Judge. Lives in nearby Thaxted. I like POB for many reasons, not least for the the fact that he scored his first century only a few years ago. I'm still only 44. You can see where I'm going with this. An acerbic wit and an extremely popular team member. Especially when he wears his 'Mack' in the field when its chilly. Batting *** Fielding *** ASBOs *****

Jamie is the latest in a long line of Hall family Canfield cricketers. He is also our grondsman and works all through the year getting the square and pitches up to scratch. What the tabloids might call a Gentle Giant. He's a big fella, early 20s, a big hitter and fast bowler. Always accompanied by his girlfriend Claire (who always smiles but rarely speaks- I wonder if she actually likes cricket!). Ruth my partner really likes Jamie, as do we all. Batting ***** Bowling ***** Fielding **** Heavy Rollers (with Jamie siting on it as well?) *****

Mitch. Mitch Cooper is our neighbours 17 year old son and, like Jamie, leads our strike attack. A very nice chap who has been known to occasionaly date my daughter, Verity. Very Dangerous Ground. He studies, he sails, he badmintons, he works at Stanstead on Saturdays and still finds time to play for us. He also possess an 8-pack whatever one of those is. Batting *** Bowling ***** Fielding *** Babe Magnate *****

Stuart. He's the club's Chairman and patriarch who, like Ali and Jamie also plays for the Sunday side from time to time. He has almost single-handedly got our new pavilion spit and span for the start of the season. A hedge fund manager who enjoys his cricket as much as he hates political correctness (bah), Blair (double bah) etc. A very good Chairman who is encouraged wonderfully by his teenage son Patrick when at the crease ("go on Dad, get out!! ha-ha). Kids eh? Batting ***** Bowling *** Fielding ***** Market Capitalisations, Yields & Growth *****

Panther. Panther is a new player (welcome fellah) joining GCCC after his old club, the wonderfully named Stapleford Tawney, folded last year. Real name Andy Goodwin, he's a bit of an all rounder and I see in him the keenness and joy I once had when I first played for the club. That's before I realised what I had gotten into. Theory: Panther is best mates with (the equally wonderfully named Will Beagles) who is a good player, so Panther's the bate to get Will involved as well: 2 for 1. Brearly didn't say this in his Art of Captaincy book - I'm getting the hang of this captaincy lark. Batting *** Bowling ** Fielding (Panther - geddit?) ***

Brucie. Brucie is our other slow bowler. Angus claims to have seen him turn the ball once. But this does not stop him snaring wickets. Oh how their eyes light up when they see him come on; oh how their eyes light up as the ball loops down the pitch at the slowest pace possible whilst just about obeying the laws of physics. You can guess the rest. I like Bruce because a) he bats even worse than me and b) he's my slow bowling partner. Run his own haulage business and big mates with Bretty. Batting * Bowling *** Fielding (what's that?) Lorries *****

That's about it. There are plenty of others to add but I'll profile them along the way. But I thought I should test the water first - I might be murdered at net practise.

Next blog will be on the eve of our first game. The excitement, the suspense, worries about team selection, form, the wicket not to mention the weather. And Dunmow 2nds are a good league side who want a pre-season friendly. This is a bit like you bigger older Brother who'll playfully hold your forehead at arms length whilst you try and kick them in the shins, and who then lets go making you collapse in a heap! We must therefore, have a plan...