* Sexy Seal
**Funky Fish
***Wacky Whale
****Cocky Cod
*****Mental Monkfish
So there we were in the New Madeira Hotel, just up from Brighton Pier staggering out of The Funky Fish, the hotel's in-residence Soul 'n' Motown nightclub, trying to avoid John, the over-zealous lisp-on-speed night porter. All of life's wonders are in Brighton alright. The whole town is an end-of-the pier menagerie, from the gay bondage boutiques to dainty tea shops, nightclubs, bars and pubs. Fewer bars, more car parks I thought as I reved up Marine Parade. Yaxford it aint ("Yaxford!"). I parked in Morrisons car park overnight. I like to live dangerously.
On Friday we went to the pub, then the gastro pub, then more pubs looking like pub-going tourists (and with Chas trying to look over 18):
Barman: "When's your birthday?"
Chas: "Err, 20th August n-i-n-e-t-e-e-e-n-i-n-e-t-y-err
Barman: "No it's not"
That's what happen when you're 6 foot 5 inches with a baby face wearing a bright red cricket top. Not exactly innocuous. An he was too tall for the fun fair rides....
We had an enjoyable evening tying to get Slowman to wear a dog's collar and lead and be walked about as our personal gimp the following evening as a way of forfeiting the tour money he owes. But he said he'd been there and done that alreday. We weren't suprised.
Saturday and after a brief stroll around the pier and wathcing the 2nd Test off we drove to Amberley for a pre-match pub lunch. Cue strangest tour experience award, as a bunch of rugger buggers on a cycling holiday (eh?) one dressed as a white rabbit watched on as one of their horde stood on a chair and gave a full rendition of the William of Orange speech (with a Roman Catholic Primary School across the way). Really quite disorientating. I bet they come from Brighton.
Amberley were okay as a team I suppose. A bit devoid of humour, the outfield was a meadow and the pitch as soggy as the sandwiches we had for tea. I won the toss, inserted and they got 130 odd all out. Highlight was their number 6 bat hitting Jamie for 6 and crashing the ball into a neighbours (newly built) conservatory. Well done The Chair for his hat-trick.
With 4 overs to go I suddenly decided I no longer belonged here. It was raining on and off. It was gusting. I hadn't bowled well. And the constant piss-taking from The Juvenillia was becoming a distraction. When I checked my mobile at tea with news that I had to get back to London it was like divine intervention, it really was. I made my excuses and left. Ali tells me the game was easily won.
Now this is pure guesswork (as I wasn't there on Saturday night) but I bet it when something like this:
Back to the hotel.
Quick change.
Something to eat (a curry?).
Mini-pub crawl (probably re-visiting the Hand in Hand that was frequented on Friday).
Back to The Funky Fish.
Then late drinking in the hotel bar in to the early hours with Ali going AWOL and Johnny Slowman receiving with great pride the baton as tourist most able to provide the comic relief. And some fake tattoos perhaps.
And on-one got laid.
I hear we won the Sunday match with ease, so jolly well done one and all.
And with the tour hardly at and end already it has been decided that Eastbourne is the destination for next year. Excellent. I shall save this blog and re-post in 12 months time. All the events will probably be exactly the same.
So, it's the Ex-Captain's Blog from now on, having resigned the captaincy (and my Secretarial duties) to The Chairman today. You can't skipper on an occasional basis, with low credibility and (apparently) even lower ability. I know such things to be true. But I shall be available for the odd game in a Panther-esq kinda way. You know, if your short, just give me a call, if your short....
Over and out.
Nipples
Monday, 20 July 2009
Wednesday, 24 June 2009
Alex's All Stars (Home) won by 2 wickets*****
* Pittmans Secretarial College
** Middlesex poly (as was)
*** Leeds uni
**** Durham uni
***** LSE
Another day, another trade press interview. Broadcast Magazine (who?) did a profile piece thingy on mentors and wanted to know who mine was. John Clemens, my old boss back in the day was the lucky winner. Twas John who coined the phrase "Experience and cunning will always beat youth and enthusiasm". And he's right. Just ask Alex, Verity's other half and the captain of our opponents on Saturday.
So they were hung-over. Boo-hoo. And in the middle of A Levels. Boo-hoo again. They had 4/5 top drawer club players plus one or two who had never played before (bit like us then). But they batted first. And lost. All out for 170 in 27 overs with their last 7 wickets falling in a 7 over spell starting just before drinks. Canfield got the runs with 9 over sand 2 wickets in hand.
So how did we do this? (Andy Silkstone are you reading this?). Well I shall tell you. WE TOOK THE PACE OFF THE BALL. Of their 9 wickets to fall (they only had 10 players, as did we) 6 went to the slow bowling brigade of moi, Harry and JW (sorry JW but your pace aint what it was). And Charles got 2 WHEN HE TOOK THE PACE OFF THE BALL. Bang it in quick and short to orthodox club players and see what happens. And Mitch and Steve bowled well as a matter of fact but still inevitably leaked runs to an experienced attack. But a slow ball, on a length, wicket-to-wicket? Ahem. I know what I'm doing, part 76...
And we batted well. Steve got 46 and played patiently hitting the bad ball, leaving the good ball. So did Trevor. And Angus can always smack a wayward bowler at 2nd change which is why he now comes in at 4 or 5 in the order. Chas chipped in with 20-odd following his 75 no on Friday in the 20 Twenty game against Dunmow. It wsa left to POB and Harry to see us home, Patrick staring on his 64th birthday and Harry smacking the winning boundary. Alex came off genuinely puzzled. Boy, you lot have missed me.
And I had an okay game. Two wickets (including getting Toby, Verity's ex - why does she always date cricketers? - for a golden) and being on a hat-trick for the 2nd time this season. Everyone said they were pleased to see me back. Sort of. A bit of fun in the field, some banter and encouragement goes a long way and EVERYONE got a game.
MoM: JW - ever willing, opened the bowling, 2 wickets to get rid of their openers - well done
Champagne moment - POB batting away on his 64th birthday
Well done Verity for the tea (even if it was a bit of a rush when we all came in ahead of schedule) and well done Alex's team mates who were great sports, great fun, mature and immensely likeable... for teenagers anyway. Let's make it a regular fixture. Some of them even put their names down for cricket week - good all round.
I have missed playing on Saturdays. It was a good laugh. An so much more fun than being stranded on the cover boundary watching a 267 run lead disappear in 30-odd overs wondering why no-one is, you guessed it, taking the pace off the ball.
See you on tour.
Easy now...
Nipples
** Middlesex poly (as was)
*** Leeds uni
**** Durham uni
***** LSE
Another day, another trade press interview. Broadcast Magazine (who?) did a profile piece thingy on mentors and wanted to know who mine was. John Clemens, my old boss back in the day was the lucky winner. Twas John who coined the phrase "Experience and cunning will always beat youth and enthusiasm". And he's right. Just ask Alex, Verity's other half and the captain of our opponents on Saturday.
So they were hung-over. Boo-hoo. And in the middle of A Levels. Boo-hoo again. They had 4/5 top drawer club players plus one or two who had never played before (bit like us then). But they batted first. And lost. All out for 170 in 27 overs with their last 7 wickets falling in a 7 over spell starting just before drinks. Canfield got the runs with 9 over sand 2 wickets in hand.
So how did we do this? (Andy Silkstone are you reading this?). Well I shall tell you. WE TOOK THE PACE OFF THE BALL. Of their 9 wickets to fall (they only had 10 players, as did we) 6 went to the slow bowling brigade of moi, Harry and JW (sorry JW but your pace aint what it was). And Charles got 2 WHEN HE TOOK THE PACE OFF THE BALL. Bang it in quick and short to orthodox club players and see what happens. And Mitch and Steve bowled well as a matter of fact but still inevitably leaked runs to an experienced attack. But a slow ball, on a length, wicket-to-wicket? Ahem. I know what I'm doing, part 76...
And we batted well. Steve got 46 and played patiently hitting the bad ball, leaving the good ball. So did Trevor. And Angus can always smack a wayward bowler at 2nd change which is why he now comes in at 4 or 5 in the order. Chas chipped in with 20-odd following his 75 no on Friday in the 20 Twenty game against Dunmow. It wsa left to POB and Harry to see us home, Patrick staring on his 64th birthday and Harry smacking the winning boundary. Alex came off genuinely puzzled. Boy, you lot have missed me.
And I had an okay game. Two wickets (including getting Toby, Verity's ex - why does she always date cricketers? - for a golden) and being on a hat-trick for the 2nd time this season. Everyone said they were pleased to see me back. Sort of. A bit of fun in the field, some banter and encouragement goes a long way and EVERYONE got a game.
MoM: JW - ever willing, opened the bowling, 2 wickets to get rid of their openers - well done
Champagne moment - POB batting away on his 64th birthday
Well done Verity for the tea (even if it was a bit of a rush when we all came in ahead of schedule) and well done Alex's team mates who were great sports, great fun, mature and immensely likeable... for teenagers anyway. Let's make it a regular fixture. Some of them even put their names down for cricket week - good all round.
I have missed playing on Saturdays. It was a good laugh. An so much more fun than being stranded on the cover boundary watching a 267 run lead disappear in 30-odd overs wondering why no-one is, you guessed it, taking the pace off the ball.
See you on tour.
Easy now...
Nipples
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Sunday Bloody (Cold) Sunday
Great Chesterford (home) lost**
* -273 Kelvin
** 9 below zero
*** Freezing
**** Bit nippy
*****Here comes the sun
It was that cold. Alternating between third man and mid on, freezing my nuts off, is no fun at all. Things had better start improving if I'm going to continue to make cameo performances for the Sun XI that's all I can say. Nine men (two cried off - and no Panther was not one of them) versus nine didn't exactly help matters, nor the fact this was an 'away' game but played at home, which meant Gt Chesterford bought the teas with them and it was a win/lose format. Most disorientating all round.
It's an interesting experience being skippered rather than being at the helm myself. Time definitely went more slowly in the field and I saw lots of things I'd personally have tweaked but Andy is Captain and anyway, he wouldn't have been able to hear me from third man, not in that gale. I felt like JW must feel most Saturdays....
We fielded. They made 225 or thereabouts for the loss of 6 wickets. Well played The Chair for his 3-for (ideal bowling conditions for him), Clint for his 2 wickets with me getting the dangerous Waz out for a duck thanks to Jamie's catch at moo corner. But their opener got a century although I could have snared him twice in my first over. I bowled okay (bit expensive in my final over) but at least I was feeling a bit warmer moving about a bit (which was more than the ball was doing).
Their opening bowlers pinned us back after tea and we were behind the rate when the wickets inevitably began to fall. It was only when I'd been in for a few overs that Stuart told me it was a win/lose game and to get a move on. Cue swing across the line to their off spinner. Cue early departure. I'd have fancied batting out for a draw as well.
So we lost by 60 odd runs but it was closer than it looks if we take their opener out of the equation. You know me - ever the optimist.
Man of the Match: Jamie - for holding 4 catches
Mug of the Match: Dave, their miserable off spinner who only smiled once the whole game (first time in 5 years I think) and then gave his wicket away. Ha-ha
Champagne moment: Any one of Jamie's catches - the one handed slip catch was my personal fav
And that was that. Andy - sorry I dashed off but had to do the kids tea. I owe you £6 match fee.
Dunno what it is about Sunday games tho - no disrespect to any of my team mates but the games do seem a bit, well 'flat' I suppose. A real gloomy Sunday feel sometimes. Every Day is Like Sunday so Morriesy reckoned. He might have been on to something. We need more banter, more fun and a few ex-players back. And warmer weather.
I'm off on a mini-break canal boating this weekend. And yes, the weather forecast is for it to be well below the seasonal av. temperature. I will think of ways to keep warm somehow...
See you in a fortnight.
Nipples
* -273 Kelvin
** 9 below zero
*** Freezing
**** Bit nippy
*****Here comes the sun
It was that cold. Alternating between third man and mid on, freezing my nuts off, is no fun at all. Things had better start improving if I'm going to continue to make cameo performances for the Sun XI that's all I can say. Nine men (two cried off - and no Panther was not one of them) versus nine didn't exactly help matters, nor the fact this was an 'away' game but played at home, which meant Gt Chesterford bought the teas with them and it was a win/lose format. Most disorientating all round.
It's an interesting experience being skippered rather than being at the helm myself. Time definitely went more slowly in the field and I saw lots of things I'd personally have tweaked but Andy is Captain and anyway, he wouldn't have been able to hear me from third man, not in that gale. I felt like JW must feel most Saturdays....
We fielded. They made 225 or thereabouts for the loss of 6 wickets. Well played The Chair for his 3-for (ideal bowling conditions for him), Clint for his 2 wickets with me getting the dangerous Waz out for a duck thanks to Jamie's catch at moo corner. But their opener got a century although I could have snared him twice in my first over. I bowled okay (bit expensive in my final over) but at least I was feeling a bit warmer moving about a bit (which was more than the ball was doing).
Their opening bowlers pinned us back after tea and we were behind the rate when the wickets inevitably began to fall. It was only when I'd been in for a few overs that Stuart told me it was a win/lose game and to get a move on. Cue swing across the line to their off spinner. Cue early departure. I'd have fancied batting out for a draw as well.
So we lost by 60 odd runs but it was closer than it looks if we take their opener out of the equation. You know me - ever the optimist.
Man of the Match: Jamie - for holding 4 catches
Mug of the Match: Dave, their miserable off spinner who only smiled once the whole game (first time in 5 years I think) and then gave his wicket away. Ha-ha
Champagne moment: Any one of Jamie's catches - the one handed slip catch was my personal fav
And that was that. Andy - sorry I dashed off but had to do the kids tea. I owe you £6 match fee.
Dunno what it is about Sunday games tho - no disrespect to any of my team mates but the games do seem a bit, well 'flat' I suppose. A real gloomy Sunday feel sometimes. Every Day is Like Sunday so Morriesy reckoned. He might have been on to something. We need more banter, more fun and a few ex-players back. And warmer weather.
I'm off on a mini-break canal boating this weekend. And yes, the weather forecast is for it to be well below the seasonal av. temperature. I will think of ways to keep warm somehow...
See you in a fortnight.
Nipples
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
S.T.A.R.T (home) - Match Won*****
* Ineistas' 94th min strike
** Drogba TV sweary rant
*** Ballacks to the lot of you
**** Essien wonder goal
***** 4-1 at the Arsenal helps ease the pain
"Drop back for this bat" isn't something I ever thought I'd hear whilst yours truly was at the crease but it happened on Saturday after I'd hit Will Beagles, S.T.A.R.T.s skipper, for a huge six over long on and having crushed an off drive for 4 from the previous ball. Easy game batting when you get the hang of it. And there's another 3 runs glanced down to fine leg... 20-odd runs from 13 balls going in to bat with 3 and a bit overs to go? Most reasonable...
Twa's sunny and calm on Saturday as we welcomed the remants of Stapleford Tawney And Red Triangle (work out the acronym for yourselves) to The Park, skippered as ever by the genial Will Beagles. I won the toss and handed back the decision to bat or bowl to Will. Such a sporting chap am I. But Will is equally sporting and insisted we bat first on a good wicket. So we did. And made 242 in 40 overs and EVERYONE got runs; Gaz (who hasn't played for Canfield for 10 years and was visiting from France) guested and got 43 as an opener, ably assited by Ali with 32. Gus went in at 3 and got 43. Then Lee, one of three youngsters playing, got into double fugures, followed by Harry and Patrick all making a solid contribution. It was nice to see. Their opener was a bit lively but after that, we got quick runs and, at 6 an over, batting 2nd was always going to be tough.
Post tea JW and Paul opened the bowling and did very well with Paul clean bowling one of the openers (bowling from the right end Angus - take heed) and then JW getting the mightily dangerous Del out for a duck, caught at point by Harry. Then on came the Skipper with a first ball wicket (sorry Tim for playing on - but he did get me out last year with a ball that bounced about 4 times I seem to recall), then a 2nd ball wicket with Will skying one to Ali at mid off who took a ballet-like one handed catch. Both their main batters out for ducks. And the skipper's on a hat-trick, which he then fluffed by bowling a horrendous wide. Finished with 4-25 though, and with young Alfie bowling very well for his 3 wickets, we skittled them out for 90-odd. Sounds an easy win, but if Del and Will had got in, it would have been a diferent story.
And well done young Willie Beagles for making his debut, playing with a stright bat, and surviving 20 balls more than his Dad. Well played youngster.
Man of the Match: Now come on be fair, when have I EVER elected myself for this? But I did get some runs, and a six, and changed the bowling at a crucial time, and got a 4-fer, and was on a hat-trick and and (oh alright then Nipples - just don't go on about it).
Champagne Moment: Now come on be fair, when have I EVER.... that 6 was worth it. Or for bowling Will for a golden duck! Take your pic chaps.
Mug of the Match: Panther - that's you mate and don't get cross. Playing for S.T.A.R.T he dropped Angus, missed running out Ali and was bowled by Alfie (aged 7). And there we were thinking he wasn't going to play again this season. Unless we're short. Just call me okay. If you're short....
Thanks to The Lucas Clan for, as ever, a great tea (but lose a point for no scones). Just sayin.
Right, I'm back in a month or so for the Sat XI but will be turning out for Andy Silksone's Sun XI in between. From what I hear he needs a bowling all rounder. God I am so heading for a fall.
With the disappointment of Chelsea failing to progress to Rome in the Champions League final, I shall bask in the quiet knowledge that actually, sort of, I played, err, okay really. And enjoyed it. Well done to one and all. See you in June. Unless you are playing on Sunday when I shall see you next week.
** Drogba TV sweary rant
*** Ballacks to the lot of you
**** Essien wonder goal
***** 4-1 at the Arsenal helps ease the pain
"Drop back for this bat" isn't something I ever thought I'd hear whilst yours truly was at the crease but it happened on Saturday after I'd hit Will Beagles, S.T.A.R.T.s skipper, for a huge six over long on and having crushed an off drive for 4 from the previous ball. Easy game batting when you get the hang of it. And there's another 3 runs glanced down to fine leg... 20-odd runs from 13 balls going in to bat with 3 and a bit overs to go? Most reasonable...
Twa's sunny and calm on Saturday as we welcomed the remants of Stapleford Tawney And Red Triangle (work out the acronym for yourselves) to The Park, skippered as ever by the genial Will Beagles. I won the toss and handed back the decision to bat or bowl to Will. Such a sporting chap am I. But Will is equally sporting and insisted we bat first on a good wicket. So we did. And made 242 in 40 overs and EVERYONE got runs; Gaz (who hasn't played for Canfield for 10 years and was visiting from France) guested and got 43 as an opener, ably assited by Ali with 32. Gus went in at 3 and got 43. Then Lee, one of three youngsters playing, got into double fugures, followed by Harry and Patrick all making a solid contribution. It was nice to see. Their opener was a bit lively but after that, we got quick runs and, at 6 an over, batting 2nd was always going to be tough.
Post tea JW and Paul opened the bowling and did very well with Paul clean bowling one of the openers (bowling from the right end Angus - take heed) and then JW getting the mightily dangerous Del out for a duck, caught at point by Harry. Then on came the Skipper with a first ball wicket (sorry Tim for playing on - but he did get me out last year with a ball that bounced about 4 times I seem to recall), then a 2nd ball wicket with Will skying one to Ali at mid off who took a ballet-like one handed catch. Both their main batters out for ducks. And the skipper's on a hat-trick, which he then fluffed by bowling a horrendous wide. Finished with 4-25 though, and with young Alfie bowling very well for his 3 wickets, we skittled them out for 90-odd. Sounds an easy win, but if Del and Will had got in, it would have been a diferent story.
And well done young Willie Beagles for making his debut, playing with a stright bat, and surviving 20 balls more than his Dad. Well played youngster.
Man of the Match: Now come on be fair, when have I EVER elected myself for this? But I did get some runs, and a six, and changed the bowling at a crucial time, and got a 4-fer, and was on a hat-trick and and (oh alright then Nipples - just don't go on about it).
Champagne Moment: Now come on be fair, when have I EVER.... that 6 was worth it. Or for bowling Will for a golden duck! Take your pic chaps.
Mug of the Match: Panther - that's you mate and don't get cross. Playing for S.T.A.R.T he dropped Angus, missed running out Ali and was bowled by Alfie (aged 7). And there we were thinking he wasn't going to play again this season. Unless we're short. Just call me okay. If you're short....
Thanks to The Lucas Clan for, as ever, a great tea (but lose a point for no scones). Just sayin.
Right, I'm back in a month or so for the Sat XI but will be turning out for Andy Silksone's Sun XI in between. From what I hear he needs a bowling all rounder. God I am so heading for a fall.
With the disappointment of Chelsea failing to progress to Rome in the Champions League final, I shall bask in the quiet knowledge that actually, sort of, I played, err, okay really. And enjoyed it. Well done to one and all. See you in June. Unless you are playing on Sunday when I shall see you next week.
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
High Easter (home) - Match Drawn**
* Easter bunnies
** Easter egg-heads
*** Easter island
**** Easter parade
***** Crucifiction
My blackberry has a tetrus-type game on it that is fiendishly difficult (dunno what its called). Anyway, to get 100,000 pts or more takes about half an hour of serious work-distracting concentration. Me, being me, decided that 100,000 pts in this game = 100 runs in cricket, so I always try and get my century and then kick on. I thought this would be good mental preperation for Saturday's game. One golden duck later (leading edge to their off spinner) I was wrong. At least said tetrus-type game doesn't have an equivalent test for a dropped catch off my own bowling...
Getting a team together had been a bit of an arse ache what with so many absentees and this being the last weekend of the Easter hols. No Andy D, Mike, Angus, Jamie, Bretty, Panther, Bomber, etc so thanks to BGB for drafting in two of his mates, one of which George, scored 48. And I had to drive all the way up from Saarf London to get to the game. But the sun was shining and Jamie has prepared the square beautifully. So here we go....
Somewhat worryingly, by 1.30 a few of the High Easter players had alreday arrived. Their skipper told me this was a new team and they were entering the league this season. In a spirit of start of term bonhomie I won the toss and surrendered the decision to the visitors, what with it being a friendly and all. They chose to bat. Funny that.
They got 270-2 (yes, for 2). Steve Oakey struck early, followed by Ali but their number 4 bat (wearing a Chelmsford Cricket Club cap) scored a century and then retired. Then their number 3 bat retired at 50. Karma for givng them the toss perhaps? We bowled okay but the team dropped 5 catches between us. Bit rusty in the field. I dropped a high chance to my left off my own bowling. Again. Well done Clint for agreeing to keep wicket. And young Ned bowled his 3 overs exceptionally well.
We managed 190-odd for 8 and the match was drwan, thanks to George (48) and man-of-the-match Clint (77). Ali scored less than 2, BGB got a golden and so did I. And that was that.
High Easter? Nice bunch. Good cricketers who played in a great spirit. We wish them well for their maiden league season and they are welcome back anytime.
Man-of-the-Match: Clint
Mug-of-the-match: Guess who?
Champagne moment: Ned's direct hit on the stumps from mid wicket
Most politically incorrect comment: "That darkie's action is a bit suspect" (anon)
Thanks to The Williams Family for a very up-to-snuff tea and to Bruie, Ali and Paul for turning up early to help sort out the site screen, etc.
The game was a bit flat. There was not much banter. Maybe this game came a bit too early for us? But honestly, I looked mustered in the nets a couple of weeks ago (or looked like mustard if your prefer). I bowled okay tho. Sort of. Jez-us. I drove back south of the river. It was past 10 when I got to where I needed to get to. Too late...
Right, I'm back in 2 weeks when I will be skippering the Stapleford Tawney fixture (my favourite game of the season). Angus is in charge next week for the Dunmow match WHICH IS NOW A HOME GAME. Play well. I will be on my blackberry.
Have a good week.
Nipples.
** Easter egg-heads
*** Easter island
**** Easter parade
***** Crucifiction
My blackberry has a tetrus-type game on it that is fiendishly difficult (dunno what its called). Anyway, to get 100,000 pts or more takes about half an hour of serious work-distracting concentration. Me, being me, decided that 100,000 pts in this game = 100 runs in cricket, so I always try and get my century and then kick on. I thought this would be good mental preperation for Saturday's game. One golden duck later (leading edge to their off spinner) I was wrong. At least said tetrus-type game doesn't have an equivalent test for a dropped catch off my own bowling...
Getting a team together had been a bit of an arse ache what with so many absentees and this being the last weekend of the Easter hols. No Andy D, Mike, Angus, Jamie, Bretty, Panther, Bomber, etc so thanks to BGB for drafting in two of his mates, one of which George, scored 48. And I had to drive all the way up from Saarf London to get to the game. But the sun was shining and Jamie has prepared the square beautifully. So here we go....
Somewhat worryingly, by 1.30 a few of the High Easter players had alreday arrived. Their skipper told me this was a new team and they were entering the league this season. In a spirit of start of term bonhomie I won the toss and surrendered the decision to the visitors, what with it being a friendly and all. They chose to bat. Funny that.
They got 270-2 (yes, for 2). Steve Oakey struck early, followed by Ali but their number 4 bat (wearing a Chelmsford Cricket Club cap) scored a century and then retired. Then their number 3 bat retired at 50. Karma for givng them the toss perhaps? We bowled okay but the team dropped 5 catches between us. Bit rusty in the field. I dropped a high chance to my left off my own bowling. Again. Well done Clint for agreeing to keep wicket. And young Ned bowled his 3 overs exceptionally well.
We managed 190-odd for 8 and the match was drwan, thanks to George (48) and man-of-the-match Clint (77). Ali scored less than 2, BGB got a golden and so did I. And that was that.
High Easter? Nice bunch. Good cricketers who played in a great spirit. We wish them well for their maiden league season and they are welcome back anytime.
Man-of-the-Match: Clint
Mug-of-the-match: Guess who?
Champagne moment: Ned's direct hit on the stumps from mid wicket
Most politically incorrect comment: "That darkie's action is a bit suspect" (anon)
Thanks to The Williams Family for a very up-to-snuff tea and to Bruie, Ali and Paul for turning up early to help sort out the site screen, etc.
The game was a bit flat. There was not much banter. Maybe this game came a bit too early for us? But honestly, I looked mustered in the nets a couple of weeks ago (or looked like mustard if your prefer). I bowled okay tho. Sort of. Jez-us. I drove back south of the river. It was past 10 when I got to where I needed to get to. Too late...
Right, I'm back in 2 weeks when I will be skippering the Stapleford Tawney fixture (my favourite game of the season). Angus is in charge next week for the Dunmow match WHICH IS NOW A HOME GAME. Play well. I will be on my blackberry.
Have a good week.
Nipples.
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Bertha
Confident? Fit? Keen to get started? Me neither but here we are and off we go...
Our first game is scheduled for Saturday, 18th April at The Park against High Easter and is a 2pm start. High Easter are a new fixture for Canfield and we welcome them with open arms. Sort of. Despite being 'a league side' who consider us a 'warm up' to their season, my county spies tell me we have nothing to worry about. Supposedly.
Anyway, two weeks prior to this there will be a pre-season 'net' to be held at the ground on Sunday 5th April from 3-5pm. Jamie is cutting a practise strip on the square and Angus will bring up 'Bertha' which is the name The Blog has christened our brand new bowling machine. Do please try and make it - it should be hilariousThe following Sunday is Easter Sunday and some of you may not be available for a second net, but if there is enough interest we shall schedule a second practise on that day as well.
The Blog also wants those who pop up to practise on either day to help give the Halls Pavilion a bit of a Spring clean and help tidy the ground etc. Any help will be greatly appreciated by the club.
I need to get the team together for the High Easter match so if you want to play let me know. John W, Paul and myself have confirmed thus far. And I also need a tea volunteer if any of you fancy it.
And I sincerely hope you have kept up your core fitness levels. Persoanlly, I have been running around Tooting Common most Saturdays and Canfield on Sundays and Mondays and have also got my flat in London fitted out with a new multi-gym. One must lead by example. And yes, I have also had my eyes tested all in preperation for the coming season. I shall be most diss-chuffed if you all report back carrying excess timber and I tell you now I will be bringing the bathroom scales to check on team members BFI. But don't let that put you off (Bretty, Ali, Stuart, etc)
So, this Sunday 3-5pm at the ground. Please try and make it.
Here we go again......
Nipples
Our first game is scheduled for Saturday, 18th April at The Park against High Easter and is a 2pm start. High Easter are a new fixture for Canfield and we welcome them with open arms. Sort of. Despite being 'a league side' who consider us a 'warm up' to their season, my county spies tell me we have nothing to worry about. Supposedly.
Anyway, two weeks prior to this there will be a pre-season 'net' to be held at the ground on Sunday 5th April from 3-5pm. Jamie is cutting a practise strip on the square and Angus will bring up 'Bertha' which is the name The Blog has christened our brand new bowling machine. Do please try and make it - it should be hilariousThe following Sunday is Easter Sunday and some of you may not be available for a second net, but if there is enough interest we shall schedule a second practise on that day as well.
The Blog also wants those who pop up to practise on either day to help give the Halls Pavilion a bit of a Spring clean and help tidy the ground etc. Any help will be greatly appreciated by the club.
I need to get the team together for the High Easter match so if you want to play let me know. John W, Paul and myself have confirmed thus far. And I also need a tea volunteer if any of you fancy it.
And I sincerely hope you have kept up your core fitness levels. Persoanlly, I have been running around Tooting Common most Saturdays and Canfield on Sundays and Mondays and have also got my flat in London fitted out with a new multi-gym. One must lead by example. And yes, I have also had my eyes tested all in preperation for the coming season. I shall be most diss-chuffed if you all report back carrying excess timber and I tell you now I will be bringing the bathroom scales to check on team members BFI. But don't let that put you off (Bretty, Ali, Stuart, etc)
So, this Sunday 3-5pm at the ground. Please try and make it.
Here we go again......
Nipples
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Deep Mid Winter
Ernest Hemingway famously wrote a story in six words; "For sale. Baby shoes. Never worn". In homage here is an equally pithy mid winter blog update designed to get the juices flowing in anticipation of the game we love and to help dispel the January blues/general economic gloom.
Club News
We have ordered a bowling machine. Excellent...... it will be available for nets on Sun 12th and Sun 19th April. Such fun. And the time it will take for one of us to crank it up to 92 mph 'just to see what it's like?' Less than 60 seconds. And then to 'fire it at stuff/Panther/me/Hepburn's house?' 5 mins. Then to 'fire it in the air to see how far it can go?' Only a matter of time. You have been warned.
AGM
This will be held at The Dukes Head, Broad Oak, on Monday 9th February at 8pm. Try and make it.
Cricket Tour
Clint is sorting out the details. It will take place in Brighton (good for gays so Johnny Slowman will be up for it) the weekend after Cricket Week following the same format as last year; travel on the Fri, get bladered, play Sat, get bladered, play Sun, visit Ali in A&E, etc... I will keep you posted on the details as they unfold
Captain Personal
I am alive and well thanks for asking and living in my London flat (Tue-Wed), my significant other's London flat (Thu-Sat) and Great Canfield (Sun-Mon). The eagle-eyed amongst you will see Saturday is now a 'girlfriend day'..... (and yes just the one now thank you). I shall be playing a lot less this season and have agreed with Angus to share Captain's duties. I tried to resign but was talked out of it (seriously). Such are my priorities at this time. I will continue to blog during the summer. Try and remember what I have taught you.
Wishing you a very happy 2009. Now back to work you dogs.
Nipples
Club News
We have ordered a bowling machine. Excellent...... it will be available for nets on Sun 12th and Sun 19th April. Such fun. And the time it will take for one of us to crank it up to 92 mph 'just to see what it's like?' Less than 60 seconds. And then to 'fire it at stuff/Panther/me/Hepburn's house?' 5 mins. Then to 'fire it in the air to see how far it can go?' Only a matter of time. You have been warned.
AGM
This will be held at The Dukes Head, Broad Oak, on Monday 9th February at 8pm. Try and make it.
Cricket Tour
Clint is sorting out the details. It will take place in Brighton (good for gays so Johnny Slowman will be up for it) the weekend after Cricket Week following the same format as last year; travel on the Fri, get bladered, play Sat, get bladered, play Sun, visit Ali in A&E, etc... I will keep you posted on the details as they unfold
Captain Personal
I am alive and well thanks for asking and living in my London flat (Tue-Wed), my significant other's London flat (Thu-Sat) and Great Canfield (Sun-Mon). The eagle-eyed amongst you will see Saturday is now a 'girlfriend day'..... (and yes just the one now thank you). I shall be playing a lot less this season and have agreed with Angus to share Captain's duties. I tried to resign but was talked out of it (seriously). Such are my priorities at this time. I will continue to blog during the summer. Try and remember what I have taught you.
Wishing you a very happy 2009. Now back to work you dogs.
Nipples
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